正當外界把焦點放在 Ryan Reynolds 被老婆 Blake Lively 取消關注 之際，近日《The New York Times》出刊的報導中，揭開了過去 Ryan 不為人知的另一面，他收起平時愛開玩笑的個性，分享長期以來內心的疾病。有別於其他媒體上的娛樂性文章，他的一字一句正慢慢地發酵中。
Ryan Reynolds x The New York Times
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“I have anxiety, I’ve always had anxiety,” @vancityreynolds said one afternoon in April. “Both in the lighthearted ‘I’m anxious about this’ kind of thing, and I’ve been to the depths of the darker end of the spectrum, which is not fun.” You’d never know it from the smooth-operator vibes that radiate from his magazine covers, but #RyanReynolds gets wracked by dread before every talk-show appearance. When our reporter @carabuckley8 met him in Beverly Hills, he’d barely eaten all day. The 41-year-old is prepping for the sequel to @deadpoolmovie. “Deadpool 2” will open to towering anticipation and a bigger question: Can #RyanReynolds catch lightning in a bottle twice? To help deal with his anxiety, he’s doing a lot of interviews in character as #Deadpool. He also uses the meditation app @headspace. And finally, he knows that the anxiety will lift. “When the curtain opens, I turn on this knucklehead, and he kind of takes over and goes away again once I walk off set,” he said. Visit the link in our profile to read more from our interview with @vancityreynolds, who was photographed here by @magdawosinskastudio.
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出道多年，憑著飾演 Deadpool（死侍）一角嚐到瞬間爆紅的滋味，鏡頭前 Ryan Reynolds 始終給人活潑開朗的陽光形象，他與身俱來的幽默感，經常逗得老婆和網友們開懷大笑，舉止間散發迷人的個人魅力。然而，Ryan 卻在這次的專訪中直言：「我有焦慮症，我經常感到焦慮。 」
Ryan 表示：「無論在多麼輕鬆的情況下，我都會感到擔憂，我經常陷入低潮深淵中，這並不是件有趣的事。」受訪中，儘管他表現出冷靜又自信的態度，記者卻如此形容：「他像是一艘緊張的沉船，受到恐懼和噁心的折磨。」一路走來，Ryan 得到的不只有名氣，還有更多的焦慮。
“The anxiety will go away when the curtain opens.”
回首自己二十幾歲，Ryan 把那些年譬喻為「真正動盪的人生階段」，他表示：「我經常到處跑趴，只是想讓自己以某種方式消失，逃避現實。我經常在半夜中驚醒，焦慮的癱瘓在床上，對未來感到迷惘痛苦。」Ryan 坦承曾經「用藥」，直到朋友因用藥過量去世後，才不敢繼續下去。
Ryan 透露這樣的焦慮永遠都會存在，但他找到轉移注意力的方式：「一旦舞台的布簾打開後，焦慮感也隨之消逝。」每當進入一項角色時，他都會盡全力地入戲，不會想太多。但每當工作結束後，壓力就會捲土重來，周而復始，所以Ryan 發現唯有讓自己忙起來，才不會讓自己深陷在焦慮當中。
「這有點像是自我防衛的機制。我想你唯有跳下懸崖，你才有飛起來可能。」
Ryan 最後想要感謝「死侍」，這個角色無疑幫助了自己擊退壓力，舒緩內在的焦慮感。藉由幽默感以及裝瘋賣傻掩飾內在的恐懼和不安。儘管焦慮感還會持續存在，不過 Ryan 已經找到適合自己的解決方式。
Cover via : vancityreynolds
Cover Art Design : Alice
