女性雜誌有時候十分令人困惑。
有時候這一頁在講做自己最好，下一頁卻是「這 10 個壞習慣讓妳越來越胖」，然後再下一頁，竟然是蛋糕的食譜。
身為媒體從業者，可以理解做一本雜誌真的不容易啊，要兼顧品質、流行和市場，再加上不同寫作者不同的考量和個性，導致整本雜誌有時候讀起來根本精神分裂一樣。
一些網友們在推特上分享他們對女性雜誌好笑又精闢的觀察，你也同意嗎？
#1
女性雜誌：這是妳該如何變得更好的方法
男性雜誌：這裡是一些變得更好的女人的照片。別擔心你那身微胖的老爸身材。
women's magazines: here's how you can improve
men's magazines: here's some pics of women who improved. your dadbod is fine.— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 4, 2015
#2
女性雜誌
第 14 頁：妳自然的樣子最美
第 15 頁：如何快速減掉幾公斤
第 16 頁：蛋糕食譜
Women's magazine
Page 14: You're beautiful the way you are
Page 15: How to quickly lose weight
Page 16: Cake Recipe— Chuck Bass (@heychuckbass) July 28, 2015
#3
女性雜誌不斷對我進行疲勞轟炸，教我該如何燙直頭髮以讓男人拜倒裙下。但是，我卻找不到任何一篇教我如何把頭髮變成梅杜莎蛇髮的文章，幫助我把那些煩人的男人瞬間石化，好讓我能喘口氣，好好完成我的小說。
Women’s magazines keep bombarding me with tutorials on how to straighten my hair so I can “make men fall in love”; yet I can’t find *one single tutorial* on how to turn my hair into snakes so I can petrify all flirty men and have the time and headspace to finish my novel.
— Icona 📚 (@iconawrites) January 23, 2020
#4
自從我青少女時期開始閱讀女性雜誌後，就不斷地嘗試、思考、掙扎著該如何搭配一件魅惑的吊帶裙和一雙戰鬥靴。每到晚上，我就在床上輾轉反側，想著這個問題...... 這種大膽混搭實在讓我想破頭。
ever since i first read a women’s magazine in my tweens...i’ve been trying, striving, toiling (even) to pair a flirty slip dress with combat boots-at night i lie awake tossing/ turning ...my mind unravels- the juxtaposition of the elements? i’m left slackjawed at the question ...
— Catherine Cohen (@catcohen) December 14, 2018
#5
我覺得女性雜誌裡每一篇「如何變美」文章的終極解答，就是要「有很多錢」。
I feel like the answer to every how-to beauty article in a women's magazine is "have a lot of money."
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) September 3, 2015
#6
女性雜誌老是在說「照著妳自然的身形選擇衣服」，但它們從來沒有寫到我這種肥厚的麵條身材該怎麼做。適合烏龍麵身材的衣服到底在哪？總之，我很不爽。
Women’s magazines wanna talk about “dress for your body type” but never include mine, which is thick spaghetti noodle. Where are the clothes for girls with similar proportions to udon?? Anyway, I’m mad.
— Den (@daniellechezzy) November 14, 2019
#7
我最愛的女性雜誌教學，就是那種教你如何用 15 個步驟，創造出「蓬鬆凌亂包頭」造型。好的謝謝我們的大編輯，其實我頭髮這麼亂不是因為我內心狂野，而是因為社畜身份以及輕微的憂鬱傾向。
One of my faaaaaavourite women’s magazine tutorials is when they show you a 15-step guide to doing a “messy bun” like ok thanks Anna Wintour, actually my hair looks like this because of capitalism and low-grade depression not a hot roller
— amil (@amil) May 31, 2019
#8
每一本女性雜誌：「讀到這篇文章之前，妳人生做的所有決定都是錯的。」
'You've Done Everything Wrong In Your Life Until This Moment'
~ Every women's magazine article.
— ❄️snowjob❄️ (@canadasandra) August 3, 2014
#9
女性雜誌老是用一些「率性酷女孩風」之類的字眼，好像我們都應該知道這是什麼意思，但實際上我完全不知道他們在說什麼。
Women's magazines throw around the term "cool girl" style like this is something we all know but I have no idea what they're talking about.
— Claire Zulkey (@Zulkey) June 9, 2014
Read More
>>>「這個破公司不值得我浪費化妝品」：上班族女生的化妝邏輯，背後大有深意
>>>「化好妝後被爽約，只好在房間自拍」：女生完妝後被放鴿子的內心轉折
Cover / Art design : 7
