長大成人,有時候就像蛻變為厭世者的漸進過程。
孩提時的夢想,早就累到沒動力去追求,青少年時期的浪漫情懷,現在已經老練到無法相信,而不過幾年前我們還能從社交中獲得能量,現在唯一能供給療癒的只有食物、 睡眠和勵志書籍。
以下是網友分享關於長大成人的感觸,每一句都一針見血,讓我們這些「資深成人」們看了很有感。
# 小時候曾覺得「午睡」時間很痛苦,現在卻求之不得
Kids just want to be grown-ups, but all grown-ups want are snacks and naps.
— Vote November 6th (@ramblinma) February 8, 2016
Vote November 6th:「小孩子都想變成大人,但所有大人只想要點心跟午睡。」
# 爸媽不再帶著你,一切學著靠自己
Being an adult is like losing your mom in a department store for years and years until you die.
— denise (@Stellacopter) March 23, 2016
Denise:「身為成年人,就像是在百貨公司弄丟了媽媽好多好多年,直到你死去。」
# 原來耶穌最厲害的奇蹟是這件事
Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s
— Lego Joseph Smith (@Mormonger) March 18, 2018
Lego Skeleton of Joseph Smith:「沒人去探討耶穌到 30 歲還有 12 個親密朋友這個奇蹟。」
# 與好友的相處節奏雖然奇怪,卻依舊愛著彼此
adult friendship is lots of cancelled plans and missed calls and missed phone dates and then really intense quick catch ups with life changing news that we laugh about and then text right after "I love you"
— Durga Chew-Bose (@durgapolashi) February 6, 2018
Durga Chew-Bose:「成年人的友誼包含了很多的計畫取消、 未接來電,還有錯過的電話約會,然後再用很激烈的節奏交換近況,報告改變生活的大新聞,然後為此大笑,接著馬上互傳『我愛你』。」
# 對舒適感的追求已經遠超越野心
The irony of finally being old enough to do whatever you want when you're "grown-up" is that you're too tired to want to do any of it.
— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) June 6, 2017
Stephanie Ortiz:「關於『年紀夠大就能做所有想做的事』的諷刺,就是當你長大成人後,已經累到那些事情沒一個想去做。」
# 快樂對成年人來說,有時候很簡單
I've found that 90% of my happiness in any situation depends on whether I have the option to sit down.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) September 19, 2014
Amy Dillon:「我發現在任何情況下,我的快樂有 90% 取決於我是否能有坐下的選擇。」
# 從前徹夜狂歡的野性已經消失
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
— 𝒥𝓊𝓃𝒾𝓅𝑒𝓇 🌻 (@sunshineskies7) July 22, 2018
J:「我年紀越大,就覺得時間更早變得晚了。」
# 開始體認到世代差異的衝擊
My only goal when getting ready to go out in public is to make sure a teenager doesn't take a discreet picture of my outfit and meme me
— Binx (@Mr_Kapowski) October 26, 2016
Binx:「我打扮準備外出到公共場合時的唯一目標,就是確保不會有某個青少年偷拍我的穿搭照,然後把我變成 “meme”。」
# So Painful but True
21 "you're so young" 22 "you're so young" 23 "you're so young" 24 "you're so young" 25 "are you married? How's your career going?"
— PSYCHOBUTWORTHIT (@yourfavepsycho_) December 15, 2015
Psychobutworhit:「21『你好年輕』22 『你好年輕』23『你好年輕』24『你好年輕』25『你結婚了嗎?你的事業進行得如何?』」
# 諸事不順時,就對天地興師問罪
I am upset with my parents for making me exist. u just decided to make a person one day? who's gonna pay my bills? me? I didn't ask for this
— Ricky Montgomery (@rohmontgomery) September 5, 2015
Ricky Montgomery:「我很氣我爸媽讓我存在這世上。你們有一天就這樣決定要做一個人?誰要來付我的帳單?我嗎?我可沒要求這些。」
# 每個人身邊都有這兩種朋友
I'm at that awkward age where half of my friends are getting married and having babies and the other half are too drunk to find their phones
— College Student (@ColIegeStudent) June 12, 2015
College Student:「我現在正處在那個尷尬的年齡階段,我有一半的朋友正在結婚生子,另一半則醉到連自己的手機都找不到。」
# 與朋友的約會,來回取消變常態
Most adult friendships are just figuring out whose turn it is to cancel plans.
— Erica (@SCbchbum) February 23, 2015
Erica:「大部分的成人友誼,就是判斷這次換誰來取消計畫。」
# 人生就像跑步機,越來越累卻仍在原地
the treadmill is a perfect metaphor for my life bc no matter how much i think im progresing im realy in the same place but also now im tired
— jonny sun (@jonnysun) April 22, 2015
Jonny Sun:「跑步機是我人生的完美譬喻,因為無論我以為自己正進步多少,我其實就是一直在原地但我現在還累了。」
# 長大成人,反而對人類更不解了
passed a dog wearing a vest that said "careful! i'm still learning how to be around people" and experienced a borderline-spiritual "same"
— ur friend xtine says vote (@christinefriar) April 22, 2015
Lil Claritin:「經過一隻穿著印有『小心!我還在學怎麼與人共處』背心的狗,竟體驗一種邊緣性人格-心神靈魂式的『我也一樣』。」
# 連多愁善感,都沒時間
adulthood is wanting to cry for 4 days straight but not having the time
— SZRP (@trvpism) July 22, 2018
SZRP:「成年就是想要連哭個 4 天,但沒有那個時間。」
# 關於成年人的金錢與情緒管理
Being an adult is 90% worrying about money and 10% spending money you don't have on treats because you've worried a lot this week.
— TechnicallyRon (@TechnicallyRon) November 29, 2016
Technically Ron:「作為一個成年人,就是用 90% 的時間煩惱錢的事情,然後用 10% 在花你沒有的錢去買犒賞因為你這禮拜已經煩惱太多。」
Cover Art Design : Vickey